Pillow Talk and Secrets Shared

Late one night:

La:  Hey, Trav.  You awake?

Trav:  mumbles "Yeah".

La:  What do you think the secret to our amazing relationship is?

Trav:  Trust

People ask me all the time what our secret is.  When we first got married, I could foresee the day when that would happen.  I just knew we would be THAT couple.

So, I'm here to share our secrets to a long, happy marriage.

• Like Travis said, TRUST.  Only after a few months of dating, we moved to separate cities for a year and a half.  We had to learn to trust each other, which is not easy when you're 18 years old.  You have to have a strong foundation of complete trust.
• Separate sinks in the bathroom.
• Take the best advice I ever received and "Marry your best friend".  He knows my whole history and loves me anyway.  Or maybe because of my history, he loves me.  Goodness, he's part of more than half of it!  But he is truly the greatest friend anyone could ever have.
• Travel together, but take separate vacations.  I mean, come on.  After being together more than 20 years, what are you going to talk about?  
• Get your happiness from within yourself and then share it with your sweetie.  If you get your happiness from them, it will inevitably go south.  No one is perfect.  If you need to get your fulfillment from someone else, they will at one point NOT fulfill you.  Not on purpose or with intent to hurt you.  No one can be that for you.  You have to be complete for yourself and then share your awesomeness.
• Be independent.  Travis taught me this early.  He would "leave me" to go hunting.  I would cry and beg and plead for him to stay.  He taught me that he wasn't leaving me, but going toward something else he loved.  And, for crying out loud, to get a hobby of my own.  Boy, did I ever.  Now I crave the time of year when he "leaves me".  LOL
• Never expect from anyone what God can deliver.  It is so important to put God first in our lives.  Before our spouses, before our friends, family...before ourselves.  
• Communication, Communication, Communication.  Over time, you will change.  They will change.  So, why not talk about what is different and work through it?  Between the sheets, especially!  And make sure to share what you want.  No one can read minds.  Most likely, if you ask for it with respect, it will be.
• And that brings me to Respect.  Your relationship is just that.  Yours.  Don't spread around the negative about your significant other.  Travis hardly ever does anything that bugs me, makes me mad, or anything like that.  But if he does, I try not to blab it to everyone (really I do - but butchering an elk on my grandmother's 120+ year old table in our brand new kitchen of our newly built house is just too good not to share).  Instead I tell everyone all of the things I love about him. [Side note:  if they are annoying you or making you mad...start telling them and other people everything you do like about them.  I swear, changing your perspective changes them.  It's the only thing that will.]
• Forgiveness.  It's probably most important to forgive yourself.  I've made so many mistakes.  I'll continue to make mistakes.  And so has/will he.  But please don't hold grudges and just forgive.  
• And last, unconditional love.  We have fallen in love with each other every day since we met.  It's a choice to love someone and I'm blessed that Travis has chosen me for all of this time.  It is not based on any condition that I have to meet.  It just is.  Love one another.  Choose love.